Of all the things that needed to get done before the baby comes, the most important was figuring out where the baby will sleep when it gets here. It took me quite awhile to make that decision.
My problem is that I waver between what I want, and what is practical (and by practical, I mean financially sound). For example, Dave’s parents had an old brown crib and a wooden bassinet that I could use. I wanted a white crib for the nursery and one of those frilly-type bassinets for our bedroom, but it didn’t seem practical for me to buy those things when they were being offered freely. And did I even need a bassinet? My cousin bought us a pack-n-play that has a bassinet thing on top – couldn’t I just use that?
For that matter, did we even need to set up a nursery? We don’t plan to be living in our current apartment for that much longer, so why go through the hassle of buying new things and clearing things out and switching things around now when we’re just gonna have to do it again after we move?
“Clearing things out” may not sound like a big deal, but over the past few months, our extra room – my office/Dave’s toolroom & workspace – had turned into a dumping ground. If we did do a nursery, it would have to be combined with my office, which meant that Dave’s tools and stuff would have to go! I felt bad about that.
So yeah, that was the practical part of my brain speaking. But the other part of my brain, the “selfish” side, was saying “I am a grown ass woman…I waited until I was financial stable to have a baby…so why the hell shouldn’t I have a nursery and a bassinet if I can afford it?!”
When my friends came over for dinner one night in January, I told them about my internal debate, and they convinced me to listen to the “selfish” side. One of them pointed out that, based on what she had observed when we were planning my wedding, I have a tendency to settle for less in my quest to be “practical.” But when I allow myself the things I truly want, I end up much happier.
Originally our wedding was going to be VERY small and casual. We’d invite maybe 10 people, I’d wear an inexpensive knee-length white dress, and afterwards we would have an informal dinner. But then I allowed myself to try on a more expensive dress…which I fell in love with and allowed myself to buy even though it was more than I wanted to spend ($750 instead of $200). This led to a fancier reception dinner with more of our family and friends (30 people). While we still had the small wedding that we had originally wanted, it ended up being a much more beautiful and memorable experience that it would have been if I’d insisted on being “practical.”
So yeah, her pointing that out was kind of a reality check. I wanted a nursery for my baby. I wanted a white crib. And I wanted a bassinet. And I would have them, practicality be damned.
For his part, Dave was fine with whatever I decided. So I told him that he needed to get rid of all his tools so we could convert that part of the room into the nursery. “I don’t care where you put them, but they can’t stay here.” He only protested a little bit. 🙂
I’ll follow up with a nursery update soon.