Today was supposed to be the big day. I’m nearly halfway through this pregnancy, and today is the day I COULD be finding out if the baby is a boy or a girl. But I’m not. Because I’ve decided to wait until the baby is born. This was a huge decision for me, one that I’ve been wrestling with for almost two months.
Before I got pregnant, I was NOT the type of person to say, “I wouldn’t want to know, I would wait.” I thought people who waited until the baby was born were a little crazy, to be honest. Knowing makes things so much easier! Of course I would respect their decision and NOT call them crazy, but it would always take me a little aback.
(Not that it happened all that often. The majority of people I know found out what they were having beforehand.)
Once I got pregnant, that feeling didn’t change. OF COURSE I’m going to find out what I’m having. Do you even know me??
It didn’t even change when Dave told me HE wanted to wait! With his first son they knew what they were having ahead of time, and he said he would like this one to be a surprise. He said things along the lines of “It’s one of the few real surprises we have left in life.” I wasn’t buying it. I mean, I understood his point, but I didn’t think it was any less of a surprise finding out in October versus March.
But Dave is a smart guy, so he followed his opinions with, “But it’s up to you. Whatever you decide is fine with me.”
Then a funny thing happened. People kept asking me if I was going to find out, and I would reply, “I want to, but Dave wants to wait. I guess I should at least CONSIDER his feelings before doing what I want.” (Haha.) Then I’d explain why he wanted to wait. I think me constantly repeating his reasons for waiting had some weird effect on me, because all of the sudden, I found that I was no longer 100% sure if I wanted to find out! Fortunately I still had a while to decide (until today!).
Another thing that made me question whether I should find out was the fact that I REALLY wanted a girl, and I was scared that I would be REALLY disappointed if it was a boy (which is what my gut is telling me it is). So I started thinking, “Well, I won’t have any time to be disappointed if I wait until the baby is born, because two seconds later my baby will be in my arms.”
All of these different thoughts eventually led me to the decision that we WILL NOT be finding out what we’re having until the baby is born. I told Dave the other night, and he got really happy, and I soon as I said the words, I got this really weird euphoric feeling. So I think I made the right choice!
(P.S. – I’m no longer at the point where I really want a girl. For about a week I really wanted a boy, and now I’m legitimately at the point where I will be happy no matter what I have. So that’s a big relief!)