My husband has been an absolute rockstar in terms of supporting me throughout this pregnancy. He cooks and cleans all the time, gives me massages whenever I ask, and helps me get dressed and undressed when I’m struggling (which is quite often ever since I pulled this stupid groin muscle last month). He doesn’t get annoyed when I ask him to get me a drink, or my nail file, or my phone charger, or whatever it is I forgot to get before I sat down (getting up and down from my seat/bed is a particular struggle so I try to avoid it when possible). He even helps me tie my shoes! (The other day we were at a Mardi Gras parade and my shoelace was untied, and I didn’t even have to ask! He just dropped down in the middle of the street to tie it.)
I can tell Dave about anything – like how painful my hemorrhoid is or how sometimes I pee a little when I sneeze (isn’t pregnancy wonderful?!), and he is never grossed out or turned off. Ever. I have no fear of any of the embarrassing things that can happen while I’m delivering this baby, such as pooping or huge blood clots falling out of my vagina, because I know they won’t change the way he looks at me. (…Okay, I AM afraid of it happening, because it’s gross! But still, I know it won’t matter to him.)
He also constantly tells me I’m beautiful – which is important considering most days I feel like a big fat cow. And he still seems to find me sexy! I keep reading about these husbands who won’t have sex with their wives while they’re pregnant because “it’s gross” or they don’t want to “poke the baby,” and I feel so bad for these women! Thank God Dave doesn’t feel that way, because my libido hasn’t decreased at all since becoming pregnant. It’s nice to feel like I’m a sexy woman, and not just an incubator for his baby.
With all that said, there are two things that Dave has said to me during this pregnancy that have left an indelible mark on my memory.
1. “Why don’t you go take a nap and I’ll make you cookies.”
This happened several months ago, but I’ll never forget it, because at the time I was like “Omg, that was the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me!” Earlier that day I had mentioned making cookies. Fast forward a few hours and I was sitting on our recliner falling asleep when he made the above statement. You mean I get to sleep and when I wake up there will be cookies? Um, yes please!
2. “We don’t have to go to the parade tomorrow if you don’t want to…since you’re about to poop out a baby and all.”
This just happened this past weekend, and it’s actually what sparked this whole blog post. We had been planning to go to Mardi Gras parades on Friday evening and Saturday day, but by the time Friday rolled around, I was tired and my legs/groin were hurting and I didn’t want to go. I told him and he was cool with it, because the Saturday parade, Endymion, was the more important of the two, and as far as he knew, I was still down with that.
But the truth was, I was dreading it! The parade didn’t start until 4:15 pm, but he wanted to get there by 11 am! That’s five hours early! Add that to the two hours minimum that we’d be watching the parade go by, and you’re talking about at least seven hours of standing or sitting in an uncomfortable folding chair. And let’s not forget the bathroom situation – it’s hard enough to maneuver in a port-a-potty when you’re not pregnant…I didn’t even want to think about how difficult it would be in there with this big belly.
None of this was a problem when we did it last year, but hello, I wasn’t nearly 8 months pregnant then! But I felt too guilty to tell him that I didn’t want to go. He loves the parades, and at that point we had only been to one this year. The thought of making him miss this parade, one of his favorites, was too much for me. So I figured I’d suck it up and go, and suffer the consequences on Sunday. (And there WOULD be consequences – I could barely walk the day after the parade we went to two weekends ago, and we were only at that one for a few hours.)
So you can imagine how relieved I was on Friday evening when he said that we didn’t have to go on Saturday!! That night when we were in bed, I turned to him and said, “You know, I didn’t think it was possible, but when you said we don’t have to go to Endymion tomorrow, I fell more in love with you than ever before.” I was teasing and we both laughed, but there was definitely some truth to that statement. I felt so much love for him at that moment!
When I analyzed WHY these two statements meant so much to me, I realized it’s because I have never felt so understood by another person as I did when he said them. I was tired – he told me to sleep. I wanted cookies – he made them. I didn’t want to go to the parades – he said we didn’t have to. And I didn’t have to ask for any of it! He just knew what I needed at the moment and gave it to me.
Now, of course things aren’t always perfect. Far from it. But these are some of the more perfect moments of the last few months, and I had to write them down, just so I’ll never forget them. ❤