Week 38: To nursery, or not to nursery? That was the question.

Of all the things that needed to get done before the baby comes, the most important was figuring out where the baby will sleep when it gets here. It took me quite awhile to make that decision.

My problem is that I waver between what I want, and what is practical (and by practical, I mean financially sound). For example, Dave’s parents had an old brown crib and a wooden bassinet that I could use. I wanted a white crib for the nursery and one of those frilly-type bassinets for our bedroom, but it didn’t seem practical for me to buy those things when they were being offered freely. And did I even need a bassinet? My cousin bought us a pack-n-play that has a bassinet thing on top – couldn’t I just use that?

For that matter, did we even need to set up a nursery? We don’t plan to be living in our current apartment for that much longer, so why go through the hassle of buying new things and clearing things out and switching things around now when we’re just gonna have to do it again after we move?

“Clearing things out” may not sound like a big deal, but over the past few months, our extra room – my office/Dave’s toolroom & workspace – had turned into a dumping ground. If we did do a nursery, it would have to be combined with my office, which meant that Dave’s tools and stuff would have to go! I felt bad about that.

cluttered office

 

cluttered office2

So yeah, that was the practical part of my brain speaking. But the other part of my brain, the “selfish” side, was saying “I am a grown ass woman…I waited until I was financial stable to have a baby…so why the hell shouldn’t I have a nursery and a bassinet if I can afford it?!”

When my friends came over for dinner one night in January, I told them about my internal debate, and they convinced me to listen to the “selfish” side. One of them pointed out that, based on what she had observed when we were planning my wedding, I have a tendency to settle for less in my quest to be “practical.” But when I allow myself the things I truly want, I end up much happier.

Originally our wedding was going to be VERY small and casual. We’d invite maybe 10 people, I’d wear an inexpensive knee-length white dress, and afterwards we would have an informal dinner. But then I allowed myself to try on a more expensive dress…which I fell in love with and allowed myself to buy even though it was more than I wanted to spend ($750 instead of $200). This led to a fancier reception dinner with more of our family and friends (30 people). While we still had the small wedding that we had originally wanted,  it ended up being a much more beautiful and memorable experience that it would have been if I’d insisted on being “practical.”

So yeah, her pointing that out was kind of a reality check. I wanted a nursery for my baby. I wanted a white crib. And I wanted a bassinet. And I would have them, practicality be damned.

For his part, Dave was fine with whatever I decided. So I told him that he needed to get rid of all his tools so we could convert that part of the room into the nursery. “I don’t care where you put them, but they can’t stay here.” He only protested a little bit. 🙂

I’ll follow up with a nursery update soon.

Posted in Blog, Life, Love, Marriage, Personal, Pregnancy, Pregnant, Uncategorized, Wedding | Tagged , | 3 Comments

Week 37: My Unexpected Trip to NY

I wasn’t planning to fly to NY at 37 weeks pregnant, but that’s exactly what happened.

Last month I wrote about how I wished we could have bought a house before the baby came, but I had to wrap up some property stuff with my ex before I could even think about buying something in New Orleans. Well, seemingly out of nowhere (but not really – it’s been over a year of back and forth with the bank, buyers, etc.), my ex called me up at the beginning of February and said that I would probably have to fly to NY before the end of the month to attend the closing of the property we were getting rid of.

I was so excited when he told me this. This property has been a thorn in our side for many, many years, and was one of the final remaining things that needed to be dealt with after our divorce. The thought that it could all be over by the end of the month was beyond thrilling! I was also happy that I might be able to get in a visit with family and friends before the baby came.

Of course, there WAS a tiny part of me that was wary about flying during my third trimester. I knew it was allowed, since I had looked it up when I was thinking about a “last vacation before baby,” but that was back when I was only 28 weeks pregnant. Now I was already 34 weeks! And by the end of the month, I would be almost 38 weeks pregnant – wayyyy too close to my due date to be traveling!

Ultimately, however, I knew that if they needed me to attend the closing, I would be there. There was too much to lose if I didn’t go. I asked my ex to find out if the bank would be okay with doing a power of attorney thing so I wouldn’t have to go, or if not, then to at least schedule the closing for as soon as possible (and NOT wait until the end of the month!).

Neither of those things ended up happening. I spent several weeks wondering wtf was going to happen, until finally, last Thursday, I got the confirmation that (1) the closing was scheduled for the following Monday (February 29th – gee, thanks for not waiting until the end of the month) and (2) I had to be there in person. So I booked myself a ticket to NY for the next day. I figured I’d go up on Friday, spend the weekend seeing people, go to the closing on Monday, and then fly home on Tuesday.

My flight up was the worst. It was a small plane, and the guy sitting next to me was like 6’5 and 250 pounds. It was such a tight fit! I couldn’t reach any of the stuff I’d put under the seat in front of me, and bending over to put my shoes back on when I had to go to the bathroom was both comical and painful.

(I had chosen not to upgrade to a bigger seat when I booked the ticket, because I was really pissed about how much it cost. When I had checked the price in the morning, the flight was only $610, but when I came back a few hours later to book it had jumped to $860! Dafuq!?! I was really bitter about that, and “refused” to give Delta any more money. That turned out to be a mistake.)

As soon as the plane took off, I had one of those – “Oh f*ck, what am I doing!?” moments. What if I went into labor while I was in NY!? Obviously I had thought about that beforehand, but I’d kept telling my myself “I’ll be fine” and “No way will I go into labor THAT early.” But once the plane was in the air, it suddenly became a very real possibility. I didn’t wanna have my baby in NY!! I wanted to be home, with Dave, when it happened!! If I had the baby in NY, how long would I be stuck up there?? I might not be able to come home for a month!! Why had I agreed to this!?

At that point it was obviously too late lol. I decided that the only thing I could do to keep myself from going into labor early was move as little as possible while I was in NY. I hadn’t planned on doing TOO much while I was up there – just dinner with friends and stopping by the office to say hi – but I nixed those plans pretty quickly. Once I landed I texted my friends and told them they were welcome to come visit me at my mom’s house, but I wasn’t going into the city.

All in all, it was a really low key trip. My aunt and one friend came over on Saturday, and another friend came over on Sunday.  I also got to see my brother and father, which was nice since I didn’t get to see them when I was here for Thanksgiving. I was pretty sad not to be able to see some of my friends and coworkers (who I love!) when they were so nearby, but I couldn’t justify the risk. Maybe nothing would have happened, who knows…but in the end I’m happy I made that decision.

As for the closing, it took place on Monday as planned. I can’t even express how happy I am that it is over! Every time I signed my name, it was like a weight was being lifted from my shoulders, little by little until the last signature, when I was completely unburdened. I was practically skipping out of the closing…okay, I was waddling, not skipping. But with a huge smile on my face! A huge pain in the ass has now been removed from my life. It was totally worth all the labor fear and paranoia I suffered through for four days.

And now I’m on my flight going home. It’s been so much better than the flight up! I upgraded to the bigger seat, and this time no one is sitting next to me, so I have plenty of room to move around. I spent most of the day worried that my water would break and I wouldn’t be able to fly home, but that never happened, and now I’m only 20 minutes away from landing, so if I were to go into labor right now, it wouldn’t even matter…

Yikes, shouldn’t have said that, I don’t want to jinx it!

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Week 35: Valentine’s Day and Birthday Recap

This year’s Valentine’s Day/birthday experience ended up being pretty awesome. Valentine’s Day was nice and chill. I got Dave a card and a piece of Whole Foods carrot cake (his favorite), and I left it on the kitchen table so he saw it when he came home from work in the morning. When he got home, he read my card and then brought me his card and two boxes of Raisinettes (my current favorite) while I was in bed.

vdaycards

I got such a kick out of the fact that the cards we got each other are so similar! The hearts, the side ribbon thing, the “to my (spouse)” on the front – I mean, they’re practically the same card! Even funnier was the fact that we basically said the same thing on the inside too – love you, can’t wait for baby to come, looking forward to growing old together. Yeah, I guess it’s a generic sentiment that most newlyweds who are expecting a baby would say, but still, the similarities made me smile.

vday flowers

When I got out of bed I saw the flowers on the kitchen table. Not a surprise, because Dave is always good about getting me flowers, but these were particularly pretty. He usually cuts them and puts them in a vase for me, but this year I decided to watch a two-minute Youtube video and arrange them myself. I think I did a pretty good job! I really want to take a flower arranging class…one day.

The rest of the day was nice. We went to breakfast, then I worked a bit. His parents came by in the afternoon to pick up his son so that we could go to dinner just the two of us. But that didn’t end up happening, because by the time 5 pm rolled around, my body was so tired and sore that I didn’t want to move. (These days I’m sore from doing nothing but sitting in a chair. It’s ridiculous!) So we just ordered a buttload of sushi and ate at the house. It was perfect.

On Monday I still had a lot of work to do, so I woke up early. While I was working, Dave came into the office to ask what I wanted for breakfast, and if I wanted to open my present. He ended up making the most delicious omelet EVER! While he was cooking it, I opened my gift. And was shocked!

bday pres

At first I was like “Ooh, a Coach bag, awesome!” Then I noticed the pink wallet, and the pink and blue baby theme. THEN he said the blue bag was actually for me to use as a DIAPER bag. And then I turned to mush lol. I was really surprised by the thoughtfulness of this gift.

The rest of my birthday was nice. We went out with friends to dinner at Primitivo and shared a 26 oz. rib eye (omgggg so delicious – there’s nothing better than a perfectly cooked steak!), and then to Sucre for dessert (I bought macaroons in every flavor so I could finally decide which was my favorite. The verdict? It was a tie between the raspberry white chocolate and the bananas foster.) Then we went to a bar for a few drinks (or soda in my case) before calling it a night. All in all it was a very enjoyable day.

I hope this post doesn’t come across as being braggy. The truth is, in the past,Valentine’s Day and my birthday have usually been treated as nothing special. Since my birthday is the day after Valentine’s Day, the two have a tendency to be merged into one: one dinner, one gift, one card, etc. (Except for that one year when this guy I was dating pulled the slow fade a week or so beforehand so he wouldn’t have to get me anything…and then reappeared two weeks later like nothing happened. Are you kidding me? Lol.)

To be clear, an amazing V Day/b-day experience has NOTHING to do with presents. I’m an adult, I work, and if I want something, I can buy it for myself. It’s about being made to feel special and loved, a little more so than usual. So when V Day and your b-day are back to back and you don’t get that “special” feeling, that’s TWO days of thinking “wtf?! Am I not worthy of a little extra love?”

So yeah, after many lackluster V Days and b-days and a particularly un-amazing 2015 birthday that I don’t want to get into right now, I went into this weekend with ZERO expectations (negative expectations, actually). And thus I was beyond surprised and happy at the thoughtfulness that Dave put into this year’s gift. He really hit it out of the park, to the point that I think I may just be able to let go of the “February disappointment” that has built up over the years.

And just one final, unrelated note – this post talks about what hapened during Week 35 of pregnancy – but as of today I am actually 36 weeks pregnant! Only four weeks left!

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Week 34: The two sweetest things my husband has said to me during this pregnancy

wedding2

My husband has been an absolute rockstar in terms of supporting me throughout this pregnancy. He cooks and cleans all the time, gives me massages whenever I ask, and helps me get dressed and undressed when I’m struggling (which is quite often ever since I pulled this stupid groin muscle last month). He doesn’t get annoyed when I ask him to get me a drink, or my nail file, or my phone charger, or whatever it is I forgot to get before I sat down (getting up and down from my seat/bed is a particular struggle so I try to avoid it when possible). He even helps me tie my shoes! (The other day we were at a Mardi Gras parade and my shoelace was untied, and I didn’t even have to ask! He just dropped down in the middle of the street to tie it.)

I can tell Dave about anything – like how painful my hemorrhoid is or how sometimes I pee a little when I sneeze (isn’t pregnancy wonderful?!), and he is never grossed out or turned off. Ever. I have no fear of any of the embarrassing things that can happen while I’m delivering this baby, such as pooping or huge blood clots falling out of my vagina, because I know they won’t change the way he looks at me. (…Okay, I AM afraid of it happening, because it’s gross! But still, I know it won’t matter to him.)

He also constantly tells me I’m beautiful – which is important considering most days I feel like a big fat cow. And he still seems to find me sexy! I keep reading about these husbands who won’t have sex with their wives while they’re pregnant because “it’s gross” or they don’t want to “poke the baby,” and I feel so bad for these women! Thank God Dave doesn’t feel that way, because my libido hasn’t decreased at all since becoming pregnant. It’s nice to feel like I’m a sexy woman, and not just an incubator for his baby.

With all that said, there are two things that Dave has said to me during this pregnancy that have left an indelible mark on my memory.

1.   “Why don’t you go take a nap and I’ll make you cookies.”

This happened several months ago, but I’ll never forget it, because at the time I was like “Omg, that was the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me!” Earlier that day I had mentioned making cookies. Fast forward a few hours and I was sitting on our recliner falling asleep when he made the above statement. You mean I get to sleep and when I wake up there will be cookies? Um, yes please!

2.   “We don’t have to go to the parade tomorrow if you don’t want to…since you’re about to poop out a baby and all.”

This just happened this past weekend, and it’s actually what sparked this whole blog post. We had been planning to go to Mardi Gras parades on Friday evening and Saturday day, but by the time Friday rolled around, I was tired and my legs/groin were hurting and I didn’t want to go. I told him and he was cool with it, because the Saturday parade, Endymion, was the more important of the two, and as far as he knew, I was still down with that.

But the truth was, I was dreading it! The parade didn’t start until 4:15 pm, but he wanted to get there by 11 am! That’s five hours early! Add that to the two hours minimum that we’d be watching the parade go by, and you’re talking about at least seven hours of standing or sitting in an uncomfortable folding chair. And let’s not forget the bathroom situation – it’s hard enough to maneuver in a port-a-potty when you’re not pregnant…I didn’t even want to think about how difficult it would be in there with this big belly.

None of this was a problem when we did it last year, but hello, I wasn’t nearly 8 months pregnant then! But I felt too guilty to tell him that I didn’t want to go. He loves the parades, and at that point we had only been to one this year. The thought of making him miss this parade, one of his favorites, was too much for me. So I figured I’d suck it up and go, and suffer the consequences on Sunday. (And there WOULD be consequences – I could barely walk the day after the parade we went to two weekends ago, and we were only at that one for a few hours.)

So you can imagine how relieved I was on Friday evening when he said that we didn’t have to go on Saturday!! That night when we were in bed, I turned to him and said, “You know, I didn’t think it was possible, but when you said we don’t have to go to Endymion tomorrow, I fell more in love with you than ever before.” I was teasing  and we both laughed, but there was definitely some truth to that statement. I felt so much love for him at that moment!

When I analyzed WHY these two statements meant so much to me, I realized it’s because I have never felt so understood by another person as I did when he said them. I was tired – he told me to sleep. I wanted cookies – he made them. I didn’t want to go to the parades – he said we didn’t have to. And I didn’t have to ask for any of it! He just knew what I needed at the moment and gave it to me.

Now, of course things aren’t always perfect. Far from it. But these are some of the more perfect moments of the last few months, and I had to write them down, just so I’ll never forget them. ❤

Posted in Blog, Health, Life, Love, Mardi Gras, Marriage, Personal, Pregnancy, Pregnant, Relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged | 5 Comments

Week 33: Headaches and Heartburn and Hemorrhoids, Oh My

My 33rd week of pregnancy can be summed up in one photo:

prunes etc

Needless to say, it was NOT a good week! I was constipated, had the worst hemorrhoid ever (so bad that I barely moved for two days), had major heartburn and constant headaches, and on top of that, I was blessed with random bouts of nausea! Yay pregnancy!

I had another ultrasound on Wednesday…which was also kinda bad, now that I’m thinking about it. That ultrasound hurt like a bitch! The tech needed to see the baby “practicing it’s breathing,” but it wasn’t doing it, so she just kept poking and prodding the baby until it finally did it. But she just kept pushing and pushing, for like 10 minutes in the same spot! All that poking was extremely painful…but I do love seeing the baby, so I would do it again in a heartbeat. The baby was covering its face, so I didn’t get any cute pictures, which also sucked.

The baby is 4.75 pounds as of last Wednesday. 🙂

The week wasn’t all bad. My mom and her boyfriend were in town for a few days, which was really nice. And the Mardi Gras parades started up, and those are always fun. But between all the walking I did showing my family around town and all the standing and dancing I did at the parades, my body is SOOO sore! My “groin pull” or whatever is just as bad as it was three weeks ago, and on top of that my back is killing me too! (Although the back may be because me boobs are f*cking huge now.)

I remember reading in the beginning of my pregnancy that the third trimester of pregnancy is horrible…but I guess I just blocked it out or forgot about it. But as bad as it is now (and I know it’s just going to get worse in the next few weeks), the pain is kind of…meaningless. I guess because I know it’s temporary? I’m gonna have a baby in 43 days!

 

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Week 32: Pregnancy Diet Starts Now! (No, this is not a joke)

32 weeks

I’m 32 weeks pregnant and have decided that now is the time for me to go on a diet. Why? The answer is simple…I’ve gained too much weight.

At the beginning of my pregnancy I adopted the attitude of: “This is the only time in my life where it will be acceptable for me to gain weight. So I’m going to eat what I want and not worry about the scale…after all, there’s not much difference between having to lose 25 pounds vs. 35 pounds after I have the baby.”

And now that I’ve gained 50 pounds and still have almost 8 weeks to go? I seriously regret that decision.

Truth be told, it’s not the number on the scale that bothers me. I mean, yes, when I weigh in at the doctor’s office and see the number, I want to throw up a little. I can’t believe how much I weigh! It’s crazy! (No, I’m not telling –  I won’t even tell David, although I’m sure he has some idea.) Sometimes I look in the mirror and I’m like, “Holy shit! I’m so big!” But I realize this is just temporary, and I’m not TOO worried about losing the weight after the baby is born. I’m giving myself 6-9 months. Besides, I’m having a baby!! I’m too happy and excited to let me appearance get me down (most days).

So what does bother me about the weight gain? Well, it’s my back…and my knees…and my hips, legs and pelvis. Basically everything below the waist. My sciatica has resurfaced after 15 years and has been kicking my ass on and off this whole pregnancy, especially in the past two months as my weight has skyrocketed. (If you’re lucky enough not to know, sciatica is this shooting pain that – for me – goes from the center of my buttcheek down my leg. It is f*cking debilitating.)

With nearly 8 weeks left of pregnancy, I could still gain another 20 pounds! In fact, this is the time when I’m supposed to gain the most weight! I simply cannot imagine how my body will feel with an additional 10-20 pounds.

So I asked my doctor about it, and he says that while I shouldn’t “diet” and try to actually lose weight, it’s fine for me to eat healthy and stay active and not gain any more weight during the rest of the pregnancy. I’m already at the high end of the pregnancy weight-gain spectrum, so as long as I eat healthy and the baby grows, everything will be fine even if my weight stays the same. But he also said that I should be prepared to gain more weight, and that he’s not worried about it, the pregnancy is going well.

So that’s where I’m at now. Since the New Year started I’ve tried to cut down on the unhealthy food that I have been stuffing my face with these past months – pasta, rice, chocolate, candy, bread, and soda. Soda! Until this pregnancy, I hadn’t drank soda for the past 10 years! On a positive note, during my pregnancy I did learn how to make the most AMAZING Alfredo sauce.

Exercise-wise, I’ve actually been going to the gym throughout the whole pregnancy…on the days when I have enough energy to go, that is. Sometimes I’ll be on the treadmill and I literally can’t walk faster than 2 mph, but I figure as long as I’m doing something, it’s good enough for now.

Like most people, I slacked off quite a bit during the holiday season, so after the New Year I picked it back up “hardcore.” At one point I made it to the gym five days in a row. On the fifth day I decided to do legs…and proceeded to pull a muscle in my groin/pelvis. I woke up the next morning like WTF?! I could barely move my right leg or lift it off the floor without feeling this intense pain where my leg meets my…vagina.

And now, two weeks later, it’s still nearly as bad as it was then. In the morning it’s painful but I can move. But sometimes, by the end of the day, it’s literally like I am dragging around a dead limb. Rolling over in bed was already a hassle, but now it actually hurts. It seemed to be getting better at one point, so on Thursday I went back to the gym, and BOOM, now it hurts all over again. And I didn’t even do anything! Just stretched and walked between 2 and 2.5 mph for a half hour.

So now I don’t know what to do as far as the gym goes! I want to stay active but this pain is ridiculous. Maybe I need to rest it a few more days? In any case, right now it’s more important than ever for me to watch what I’m eating.

Fortunately this will all be over shortly. 🙂

Posted in Blog, DIet, Dieting, Exercise, Fitness, Health, Life, Personal, Pregnancy, Pregnant, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Week 31: So much to do, so little time!!

Since the new year started, I have slowly been entering into panic mode. I am due on March 16. That’s exactly two months from now, which is NOT a long time. And the reality is that I could pop at any time!!!

I’m not ready!

There were three “big” things I wanted to do before the baby came.

  1. Buy a house.
  2. Buy a new car.
  3. Go on vacation.

Guess how many I did. That’s right, none.

1. Buy a house or move

I resigned myself awhile back to the fact that we wouldn’t be able to buy a house before the baby came. I have a few loose ends in NY that I need to tie up before I put money into a house down here. Hopefully we’ll buy something towards the end of the year. We considered moving to a new apartment or renting a house (our current apartment is big but it’s kind of old and dingy), but decided that it didn’t make sense to move now if we’re planning to buy a house soon. Especially since we’re already in a three-bedroom apartment.

2. Buy a new car

Do I really need a new car? I’ve been wrestling with this question since long before I was pregnant. I’m currently driving an old car that occasionally has problems but gets me where I need to go…which at this point is hardly anywhere! I go to the gym, grocery shopping, Costco, and that’s about it. I think I drive that car maybe 5 miles a day…if I even leave the house! (Which I often don’t!) Once the baby is born I’m sure I’ll be using the car even less…so what’s the point in getting a new car and having to pay a car note and higher insurance? (Answer: there is no point.)

3.  Go on vacation

Sigh…this was a tough one. I REALLY wanted to go somewhere before the baby was born, but I couldn’t decide where. I don’t have a passport with my new last name, which limited our options. A beach vacation seemed like a waste of money – after all, it was in the 70s in New Orleans up until Christmas (and yesterday)! I ruled out any type of sightseeing trip – I get tired pretty easily these days, and walking can be a chore. No point in going somewhere and being miserable. And the fact that I can’t drink really puts a damper on ANY vacation I think about. Lay by the beach and drink margaritas? Nope, can’t do that. Sightseeing during the day and then have dinner and drinks? Can’t do that either. 

If only money wasn’t a consideration! But it is, and I just couldn’t justify us spending $2,000 on a vacation (or $20k on a car, or $200k+ on a house!) when there’s still so much to do and buy before the baby gets here. Not to mention all the crap we’ll have to buy when the baby arrives. Did you know that a baby goes through 12 diapers A DAY?!? Dafuq!!

So yeah, I’ve had to put my “dreams” aside for now so I can focus on things we need to do in the next few weeks, including:

  • Set up a nursery
  • Clean our bedroom from top to bottom
  • Buy new bedroom furniture and a bassinet
  • Order a breast pump
  • Sign up for a tour of the hospital
  • Pack a “go bag” for when I go into labor
  • Decide on my birth plan
  • Take cute pictures of my bump
  • Decide if I want to do a 3D ultrasound
  • Send thank you cards for my NY shower
  • Edit those f*cking wedding photos and make albums for our families
  • Come up with a post-baby diet
  • File income taxes

There’s so much to do! It’s kind of overwhelming, but this shit HAS to get done. It’s not all baby related, obviously, but once the baby comes I don’t want to have to stress over stupid things like taxes and wedding photos. So I need to get them done beforehand. And the sooner the better!

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